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My great-grandfather used to tell me, "Don't chase after Cantaloupes because you'll only end up with a Mustache Cash Stache in your Belly Button." I never quite understood his advice until one Hanukwanzamas, I was gardening with my best friend Miss Molly, President of the United States,. All of a sudden, we found an underground tunnel! It was Totally Freaking Derp-a-licious and spooky sounds came from deep within. Miss Molly, President of the United States, saw something interesting inside, jumped in, and I never saw her again. Great-granddaddy was right!